Wonderchild

by Donna Martin, M.A. (certified Hakomi therapist and trainer)

Your wonderchild is alive and well.
Your wonderchild is your authentic essential self.
Your wonderchild is the part of you that knows that you are precious, perfect, and inherently worth loving... no matter what.

Your wonderchild is not the same as the "inner child" that many therapists are working with. The inner child is that part of you that was wounded in childhood. Experts agree that emotional trauma occurs, not so much as a result of what happens to a child but often as a result of unexpressed and unsupported feelings. If a child is hurt and has an opportunity to feel and express her feelings, and be accepted for that, the impact is not likely to be the same as if the child is hurt but gets no support or acknowledgement or acceptance for her feelings.

In therapy, adult clients have an opportunity to work through the feelings from past events and thus heal much of the trauma. Unfortunately, if the therapist and client don't move past this wounded inner child to the deeper level of the wonderchild, the opportunity for full healing and empowerment is limited and the client may remain at the level of victim.

Marian Woodman, the well-known Jungian analyst and author, refers to these two levels as "accidents" and "essence" Accidents are the wounding events that can at least temporarily obscure our sense of our own essential self, this part I am calling wonderchild. Such events may have left us with wrong ideas about being somehow not okay, not lovable or worthwhile, not precious.

In therapy or recovery, we're working through the false self-image based on our perception of who we are and of Life, the coping strategies we've developed and decisions we made as children about what parts of us were okay and what parts were unacceptable or wrong. As it becomes clearer about how much we have identified with this false self, we can begin our search for the authentic self, for our Essence... our wonderchild.

Your wonderchild, I'm happy to report, is alive and well. Who is he or she?

Your wonderchild is trusting, open, curious, accepting, non-judgmental, appreciative and spontaneous.

Your wonderchild is a sensory feeling being, sensitive to others, to the environment, to animals, to music, to colours, and to other vibratory influences.

Your wonderchild feels deeply connected to the world around her and knows herself to be a part of Life. He feels special and unique and somehow knows that Life revolves around him.

Your wonderchild is whole, undamaged, and in a constant process of expansion. She is vulnerable, unprotected, and exposed. He is authentic and undisguised.

Your wonderchild is not unnecessarily afraid. She has absolute trust in Life. He feels at once safe and adventuresome, open to the moment as it comes.

Your wonderchild experiences Life fully, both joy and pain. She does not suffer because she does not try to avoid pain, nor does she try to cling to joy. He enjoys relationships but is not afraid to be alone. She feels the presence of guardian angels and of nature spirits and fairies and invisible friends.

Your wonderchild is instinctive, intuitive, and knows how to communicate nonverbally. She is not afraid of Life or Death and has a deep faith in her own existence. Non-existence is unimaginable.

Your wonderchild is called imaginative because he senses interdimensional realities and is not limited to one world. He is hopeful because he knows that anything is possible.

Your wonderchild has faith because she knows that everything is perfect. She realizes that what she does and who she is are not the same thing.

Your wonderchild may lack information and experience but is aware of everything.

Your wonderchild loves to try new things. He notices without judging. She sees, hears, smells, tastes, and feels without thinking, analyzing, or criticizing.

Your wonderchild selects but does not reject... compares but does not judge.

She knows her own power but is not controlling. He knows his own beauty but is not vain.

Your wonderchild is never inadequate, or too much.

You may not know you have a wonderchild but you do. You may not know where your wonderchild is but she or he is not lost.

Your wonderchild came into this life with you and will be with you when you leave. Finding your wonderchild is a major part of your personal healing and recovery.

Your wonderchild knows that decision-making means exercising the freedom to choose, and does not mean doing it "right" or "wrong".

Your wonderchild is dependent on others for some things but does not feel inferior for that. She is self-sufficient in other things but does not feel superior for that. He can be alone but not lonely, and together with but not clingy.

Your wonderchild can feel anger without blaming. He can feel sadness but does not despair.

Your wonderchild is divine and has an intimate connection with a Higher Power, with God.

Your wonderchild loves to sing, to dance, to draw, to play.

The world of your wonderchild is magical.

For your wonderchild there are no limitations, only guidelines.

For your wonderchild a closed door is a rerouting opportunity, not a rejection.

For your wonderchild a crisis is a challenge.

Your wonderchild is radiant as a star. The spirit of your wonderchild bubbles like a brook and sparkles like a diamond. Life experiences can cover up the diamond with a layer or two of muck, but the diamond remains unchanged, intact, undamaged.

Your wonderchild knows that something is not right when you are being abused, or made to feel less than, unworthy, incapable, or unloved. She is waiting for you to realize this too and to stand up for her... for you.

Your wonderchild is you - the essential inner knowing part of you that is ageless, eternal, infinite and transcendent.

Your wonderchild transcends your personality, your coping skills, your education or lack of it, your defense mechanisms, your hurts and wounds, your ego. Your wonderchild transcends victimization, abandonment, abuse, and neglect.

Your wonderchild has no concept of forgiveness because he does not feel betrayed and therefore forgiveness is irrelevant. Your wonderchild is a channel for pure love.

And you are, more than anything else you have been led to believe, a wonderchild.

Close your eyes for a moment and notice whatever you notice.... Sounds, thoughts, images, sensations, feelings, breath... There is no need to make anything happen. Just notice whatever is happening. What is the flavour of your experience? Is it familiar? As you continue to notice it, what are you remembering?

Let yourself drift back to a time in childhood with each breath... go even further back than the hurts. It doesn't matter if you have no specific memories.

Imagine that with each breath you drift in consciousness closer and closer to a point of light within your own core being. That light, that star, is your wonderchild.

Let yourself be drawn into that light and into the knowing: that you are precious, whole, lovable, and loved. That you are safe. That you deserve the many blessings that Life is capable of offering you. That love and joy are your birthright. That you are never really alone. That you are a divine child, a part of the Great Spirit of the universe. That your life has meaning. That you can trust yourself.

Know that Life wants to support you and nurture you just because you are. Bask in that knowing and in that light and let each breath expand that image of light until it seems to fill your body. Keep breathing and expanding that light until it surrounds you and glows in the space around you.

The pattern and rhythm of your breathing now contain the imprint of the spirit of your wonderchild and will continue to affirm this whether you think about it or not. It is with you always. Each time you practice this exercise, you re-establish your intention to let your wonderchild inspire the way you live your life.

If you feel sadness with this exercise, know that you are grieving the years of living out of touch with your wonderchild. You need not grieve the loss of your wonderchild for she was never truly lost. Your sadness is fine. Let your sadness be a doorway to celebration.

Celebrate that you are coming home to your authentic self.

T.S. Eliot wrote: "We shall not cease from exploring, and the end of our exploration will be to arrive back where we started and know the place for the first time."

Your wonderchild is alive and well and waiting for you to come home. Believe in him and your self-image will change, your relationships will change, your parenting style will change, your stress level will change, and your enjoyment of life will change.

See the wonderchild in others and no one will ever seem the same again.

Do the work you need to do for the wounded inner child and know that it is supported by the wonderchild who is undamaged. Live life and express yourself through the personality that developed from those wounds, with all its special quirks and "flaws" that make you uniquely you.

And remember when you need to that who you truly are is precious, perfect, inherently worth loving... a wonderchild!



Wonderchild is available in booklet form for the cost of printing and shipping at $5.00 per booklet or five for $20.00. Please order by sending a cheque to Donna Martin Box 834 Kamloops B.C. Canada V2C 5M8. (or $4 each US$)

© Donna Martin, M.A. (Certified Hakomi therapist and trainer)

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